So “Kingin’ with Tyga” is not canceled yet so we are joined again with the wacky gang of Tyga, Trell ( the (obnoxious) right hand man), Katherine (the present secretary), S.B. (the present DJ) and Ant (the manager / human receipt). Yay…
After the eye roll introduction, we are welcomed with Trell, Katherine, S.B. and Ant sitting by the pool fully dressed. Trell, oh sweet extra Trell, says that they must do something really creative today. Ant replies that he should come up with some new designs for Last Kings, Tyga’s clothing line. Ant is not only the manager and human receipt but he is also a marketer. No conversation involving Ant is complete without a forced product placement or the hyping of Tyga’s wealth. He either really likes Tyga, is paid well or both.
Anyway, back to everyone at the pool fully dressed. Tyga comes from his room and stretches as if he does that every midday, questions what everyone is doing down there and something unmemorable is replied. Tyga also says that he had a dream that he was “jetpack man”, whatever the hell that is. Katherine asks if he wants a jetpack because she needs a purpose in this show. Tyga says it would be cool to have a slide from the balcony to the pool and Trell makes it extreme with a loop and curve. Tyga comes down stairs and Ant refutes but ultimately it happens because this show needs some kind of plot, regardless of if it’s actually, you know, interesting. Guess who is in charge. Yep, Trell. The most memorable aspect of that whole forced scene was that Tyga was wearing a longsleeved red shirt and blue basketball shorts while riding a scooter and talking at one point. Not an electric scooter but like a plain Razor scooter. He looked like a kid whose mom kicked him out the house and told him to go play and he just put on whatever. I loved it because it actually felt natural unlike 98.42% of this show.
The next plot begins inside Tyga’s home gym. He comments that he would like to someday have an all gold gym for reasons. Trell, oh Trell, comes in with a tablet and says someone has tried them. I was excited, no ecstatic. Something real was going to occur. Tyga would finally address rumors, show more of his personal life or do something with some real substance instead of this extended episode of “My Super Sixteen” bullshit. To my horror and disappointment, CT Fletcher, a fitness expert who yells 90% of the time, challenges “the Kardashians, the Justin Biebers and the Tygas” to a challenge. On the heels of Meek Mill and Drake’s beef, MTV decided to have this as conflict in real life. Trell describes CT as a popular fitness trainer in Compton and “scary old motherfucker.” Cannot refute that one. CT is quite built.
Tyga calls CT and asks if this is CT. CT goes on to say yes, “now … who … the … fuck … is …. this” as if he is on WWE and I am done with the Man Hulk. Tyga confirms that him and his crew will do it. And for whatever reason Tyga tells us that he is in a “20,000 foot square house.” Yep, he said foot square instead of square foot. Yep, I had to point that out.
Moving on to Trell, my sweet Trell, and this unnecessary slide from the balcony to the pool. Trell and S.B. are at some theme park to meet Mike, a slide specialist or engineer or something. Mike takes them up to see a black slide and all the stairs has Trell beat. Trell says that that slide is perfect for his house but Mike kills his dream and tells him that he cannot construct a slide in the backyard because of regulations and permits and stuff. Trell is hurt by these new developments and I am wondering who else stays in the “20,000 foot square house.” They zoom in at one point and finally I get a clear shoot of S.B. and he looks like a dark-skinned DJ Paul or a dark-skinned, tattooed Albert Daniels. Albert Daniels is Brooklyn in ATL. No need to Google, I got you. S.B. tells Trell that he better have a backup plan and they leave to go to CT’s gym.
Then we are at CT’s gym. Some ritual backslapping commences and it looks painful and I am looking at the screen in bewilderment by the time Tyga and his crew enters. I would like to point out that at some point in this scene Tyga says “challenged all the whole crew.” It has no relevance but it stuck out to me. So, CT yells some more and it is time for the challenges. However, Trell, my gracious Trell, backs out because he is not fit by any definition of the word and knows that. This development did not stop Trell from standing in front of CT with a wide stance and puffed up chest as if he is going to do anybody’s exercise, let alone CT’s brutal workouts. Is my dislike of Trell showing because it was strong at that scene.
The first workout is Last Man Standing and they do push ups. CT yells for them to up and down and they do push ups. Whatever. Next, Pull Downs. This workout requires ten repetitions of pull downs at each weight. Ant turns red doing that workout according to Trell. Finally, Tensions. Tensions is where they start with seven dimes (or, you know, weights because not everyone knows exercise lingo Man Hulk) and they do ten repetitions, two guys remove a weight on each side then the person does ten more repetitions and this continues until they are down to one. Tyga finishes it. They tried to make that a dramatic scene and it was not. They finish and CT gives Tyga a gold-plated dumbbell because everyone is an enabler.
This episode refuses to end so we are back at Tyga’s house and Trell, my snickerdoodle, comes and shows S.B. and Katherine his alternative to the slide. He dramatically shows the large inflatable slide. Katherine keeps trying to comment but is getting overpowered by S.B. and Trell. Trell shows Tyga who honestly looks unimpressed but he says he likes it so I will believe him.
Because this episode really, really refuses to end, Tyga throws a party with some friends. Jeremy, who is described as “Tyga’s friend”, decides to test out the slide because he’s “crazy” and he then tells Tyga that he “needs more white friend.” Some racist friendly banter ensues and he slides down and everyone is screaming and laughing. Paul, “head of security” and friendlier Man Hulk, tries it too. Someone says he looks like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and I chuckle. Katherine does it too because she needs a purpose. The episode (finally) ends.
I honestly like Tyga. He makes braggy, dance music and when I go out, I am fine with hearing braggy, dance music. Yeah, he is no musical genius but the club needs the Tygas, Travis Porters, Roscoe Dashs and Waka Flocka Flames in the same fashion that Greatest of All Time arguments need the Nas, Jay-Z, Eminem, Tupac and Biggie. However, this show is horrid. It is like MTV2 took Tyga’s persona and magnified it by 180% and said “yeah, no one will find this show overkill by the second episode.” Now you just have a show revolving around wasteful spending, a jerky right hand man who may bring Last Kings to bankruptcy with his enabling and exaggeration, a manager whose entire dialogue sounds like it was written by PR firm and two irrelevant characters who are only present to be present. Katherine is cute though and S.B. voice is okay so that is something for them.
Tyga works hard and he really tries to be someone. He has put out four studio albums and fifteen mixtapes, been featured on numerous tracks and collaborated with Reebok to make his own sneaker. Yet he decides to focus on flashing wealth rather than let viewers take a ride with him to see how he manages to be a well oiled machine that can take constant controversy. Someone needs to get me in contact with MTV2, Ant and Tyga so we can get this shit together for the good of the colony. I cannot be the only one who finds potential in this crap.