Perhaps it’s the pumpkin spice lattes that’s causing cuffing season to start. With the start of cuffing season, questions about dating will start appearing again. Instead of planning your amazing Halloween costume, you’re left wondering whether or not you’re supposed to get drinks and if you get drinks what does that mean.
On top of all that, everybody and their mommas know that dating as a woman of color is hard. There are so many unseen expectations or rules that guide your hand with every Tinder swipe or settle wink at a party. Either you have to be as classy as the First Lady or as seksi as Amber Rose or Nicki Minaj combined. For some reason, people don’t want to give women of color the right to be bad, or different, or anything that we want. We have to exist in some cookie cutter form that makes it easy for others to understand us.
I have no intentions on waiting on someone who doesn’t understand who I am to tell me how I am supposed to be or behave. I can go from Rihanna to Annalise Keating in .25 seconds. Furthermore, cuffing season doesn’t mean that I’m going to start linking up with anything in sight and trying to make myself into someone’s Happy Homemaker. We’re not pieces of double sided tape. We don’t have to stick to anything that we don’t want to.
People need to stop waiting from some unforeseen force to give them the right to behave a certain way. This isn’t Star Wars—the force is not with you. At the end of the day is just you and your choices. No one can dictate what you do because they aren’t you.